Deepest Cut

Alone...its the definition of failure in my life. I found myself last night sitting alone, and thats when the most haunting thoughts run through my mind. I cant help but reflect on the failures that lead me to be in the postion of feeling so lonely...and i cant quite bring myself to move on...and i push away potential relationships because in the back of my mind nothing ever replaces what i once had. Everyone compares...gets compared...we all do it...most of the time we dont even realize the crime against humanity that we commit...because in reality there is no one standard we can compare against. There is no right there is not wrong...only the societal standard that has been set....what accounts us to follow this standard?... obviously its a moral majority thing, where we feel obligated to follow. The deepest cut ever made is the one that takes away a part of my optimism...the one that makes the blood run continuosly without a hesitant stop. Because it wasnt enough to just be who i am...i wasnt the expectation that he set....i wasnt her, and i cant help that, and i cant help being heartbroken over what i wasnt...something is bound to come along to give me strength to heal the deep cuts...the open wounds...the battle scars will show
its a gentle reminder of the walls that have been built
and the love i so desperatly need to feel...