All the Sadness as Faded

Its been a rough past year....but im finally getting my life together in the most fabulous way
As of today i have realized that i have left my past behind...for the first time in a long time...and i feel so alive and so relieved just to be me agian...i feel like my past love life has drained me, tied me down, and wiped me out...when in reality it needs to bring me up make me feel brand new agian...keep me guessing and most of all keep things interesting...and thats what i like about my life these days...its one big day to day surprise..and i just keep finding new things out
im happy to be less depressed and im so excited to become a part of this world in the realest of ways...i want to feel healthy and hopeful, beautiful and loved...and i can accomplish anything

theres a new boi in my life...and its just such a treat to meet such a guy that treats me with respect and it just really feels like im with a MAN for once in my life. we havnt even known eachother for a week and hes pretty much swept me off of my feet and into a whole new different and exciting world that i never knew existed
i feel like God is lifting me up and showing me the light...the kind of light that is forever shining in my heart after all the lessons have been learned and all there is left to do is love
and i know that i put my heart out there more then i should..and i wear it on my sleeve but i cant change...in fact its impossible for me to change the only thing i can do is get better at hiding my flaws...
Pat John Sedwick- Air Force MP May 27, 2010
I joined a dating website at the beginning of the week and low and behold he was the first one i messaged...minutes later we where having a conversation...an hour later we started texting eachother....tweleve hours later hes calling me while at work....and 24 hours later we are going to a movie and hes kissing me goodnight outside my door....three days later im thinking to myself "i could really see myself marrying this guy"
Downfall - he is deploying in 5 months (October) so what do i do? i stick around damnit! im strong enough for this...and if he continues to make me feel the way i do now...theres no doubt in my mind that i can withstand a 6 month deployment for him ;) after all he has truely shown me the way that i have always dreamed of feeling...and the time apart could even do us good...and as of the 27th we are officially dating..and today i come to you blog...telling you to prepare for millions of words and more...because this is going to be an awefully big adventure.