...Today

I feel like im a recovering alocholic...like everyday from today is going to be this huge emotionl and physical battle between my mind and body...like everyday i have to go to my own AA meeting and convince myself that the life i left behind is never worth returning to because so many where hurt and broken by my behavior...including myself...

but i really wasnt that screwed up was i?

...and what would you to for the people you care about?? how far would you go in order to change to be a better person...to impress yourself and everyone else??
i feel like the majority of people want to change...but never truely believe in themselves...or they change but they fall back into old habits...

and ive been to both sides of the specturm...and i finally had a good day yesterday where i feel like i accomplished alot and i feel like i beat a good amount of my initial fears...because i no longer let HIM hold me back anymore...i let God back into my life...and i pleased myself with my behavior and habits throughout the day

i know people never change...they just get better at hiding their faults...so here i am desperately hiding my faults...and everyday is going to be a new battle agianst them...but we all have to fight agianst something...and im choosing my battles and taking my guard agianst them with all my heart, strength, and drive

i believe i can do anything