Numb

I don't cry about it...and when a thought of him comes to mind i distract my mind immediately. I left our relationship in his hands, and that was the hardest thing to do when i feel like i need to be in control of every aspect of my life....and we have been ignoring each other for four days now. In my opinon he left me Tuesday night and we where on good terms...but has time continued he choose not to communicate with me...so instantly i resolve to conclusions of my own.
So i let him be alone, i figure he is upset with me from what happened on Tuesday night, and unfortunately i cant change my caring nature...if i was to i would be left with nothing...and even though i care too much and sometimes it breaks my heart i would rather not be a cold human being. I have no clue what he is feeling and for now im ok with that. Maybe he really is getting his act together even more now days, i know i was a burden. I miss him...but my numb heart just keeps beating and life just keeps living. I suppose im in denial...i dont want to accept that we have to be apart but its what we are both doing to each other right now. Its hard to let it go, espcially since i feel like i killed myself inside and he brought me back to life.