The Breakdown

...he put me on the train tracks...and i was just standing there all alone looking in both directions...anticipiating wat was going to happen, what was bound to come next...and thats where he continued to put me....and i was waiting....waiting on the train to come and end what was left of this torn relationship...and the train - it was slow...and it made stops along its path...then, this morning, it finally hit me...stopping my heart before the intial impact...and now im left with the relapse of pain....and it hurts so bad and so good all at the same time, so bad because i should of been more like her....so good because maybe this is the final step...now that the train has wiped away his memory i should be ok right? i should forget...i should remember how bad it hurt to see her...how much more it breaks my heart to see the comments she leaves on his Facebook...whatever happen to us...i thought he was happy?....and the perfect memory of him that i created now withers into hell....it becomes so dark, so cold for my thoughts to touch on, and i become weak at my knees wondering where i went wrong. But as i look up from there...this oblivion of hope sneaks thru the darkest clouds of this raging storm, and maybe he was made of denial...and i was made to love, but the only thing stopping me from giving my life one last shot is his picture and her...so they have been deleted and i hope to God he stays that way in my life...forever...i dont deserve to be in pain anymore