Hope to God You'll Survive the Morning

Its the most sickening feeling...of twisted doubt and freezing faith. When you go to sleep you dream and then wake up to realize nothing has changed, im still not in the happy...over the rainbow mood...nothing seems worth randomly smiling about. This harsh life has become this meaningless black hole of lost self esteem and a continuously questioning heart. And my heart is not whole, and now i wonder on the initial impact of morning who is going to change that? this emptiness inside has yet to be filled, and i sit here in complete silence thinking about what i could do today to somehow fill this void. And what gets at me now is i dont want to live in the dorms anymore, i dont want to live with my best friend, i want to be alone. I look in the mirror and i become displeased with my image, i become fake....and my eyes they are filled with this undying passion...one i cant fufill...because im to captivated by dissapointment. Im not her. I am me. But what have i ever done in this world? why does it always come back to the unanswered questions? i thought love could overcome everything, but its a completely different life when the love is slowly fading...and the physical takes over the emotinol. I want to laugh again...i want the lies to end...i want the power to love myself...and i want the drive to be successful...today is what i want...tomorrow will be too late.